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The Absurd Notions Story With Bats In It, by Den Whitton
Strip 1
Panel 1
Isaac and Warren sitting on couch watching TV.

Warren: [annoyed] Fancy calling a show on vampire bats ĎBlood Suckers Of The Night.í This documentary team must be running low on ideas.
Isaac: [looking up, watching a small bat circle overhead.] Um. Yeah.

Panel 2
Warren: [looking at Isaac] I mean, how clichéd can you get?
Isaac: [looking up at bat.] Hmm? Oh. Yeah, clichéd.

Panel 3
Warren and Isaac watching bat circle overhead.

Panel 4
Warren: Uh. Is that a bat?
Isaac: Iím glad to hear you say that. I thought I was going mad.


Strip 2
Panel 1
Warren and Isaac sitting on the couch looking at the bat circling overhead. Jay is standing behind them, looking at the television.

Jay: Is the vampire documentary ok?

Panel 2
Warren and Isaac sitting on the couch looking at the bat circling overhead. Jay is standing behind them, looking at the bat.

Panel 3
Warren and Isaac sitting on the couch looking at the bat circling overhead. Jay is standing behind them, looking at the television.

Jay: Warren?
Warren: Hmm?

Panel 4
Warren and Isaac sitting on the couch looking at the bat circling overhead. Jay is standing behind them, looking at the bat.

Jay: Have you added a projector to the television?
Warren: I think I wish I had.


Strip 3
Panel 1
Warren, Jay and Isaac sitting on the couch, watching the bat circle overhead. Biff is standing behind them.

Biff [looking at the bat] Ew! Iím locking my door tonight. That horrible thing wonít be getting my blood!
Jay: Youíre not worried about turning into a creature of the night, are you?

Panel 2
Warren, Jay and Isaac sitting on the couch, watching the bat circle overhead. Biff is standing behind them.

Biff: [annoyed] Give me some credit!
Isaac: itís probably an insectivore. The worst it could do is give you a nasty nip.

Panel 3
Warren, Jay and Isaac sitting on the couch, watching the bat circle overhead. Biff is standing behind them.

Warren: And rabies.

Panel 4
Warren sitting alone on the couch in an empty room, with bat circling overhead.


Strip 4
Panel 1
Warren, Isaac, Jay and Biff standing near a painting on the wall.

Jay: Are you sure it went behind my painting?
Warren: [handing towels to the others.] Yes. It landed on top and scrambled down behind the frame. Iíll pull the painting away from the wall, and you all try to throw a towel over it.

Panel 2
Warren: [holding picture by frame] Ready?
Others: [holding towels] Yes!
Warren: Right! One... Two...

Panel 3
Warren holding painting with a dozen little bats flying out from behind.
Isaac, Jay and Biff are crouching on the floor with the towels over their heads. They are looking at the bats.

Warren: THR- ack!

Panel 4
Isaac, Jay and Biff are crouching on the floor with the towels over their heads. Warren is crouching with the painting over his head.

Biff: Well done, Warren.
Warren: I DIDNíT PUT THEM THERE!


Strip 5
Panel 1
Many bats flying overhead.

Isaac: Maybe we can trap them in something?
Warren: Maybe, but what would you use?

Panel 2
Jay: [smiling] We could build a belfry.

Panel 3
Warren and Isaac look at Jay

Panel 4
Warren: [to Isaac] And thatís when I killed him, your honour.
Isaac: Case dismissed.


Strip 6
Panel 1
Many bats flying overhead.

Isaac: Can we hunt them out?
Warren: Donít be ridiculous! It would be like herding cats!

Panel 2
Jay: [smiling] You said that about clueless people after your first day on Help Desk.
Warren: Look...

Panel 3
Warren looks at Jay

Panel 4
Warren: [pointing off screen] Youíre right. Biff, open that window.
Biff: Okay... HEY!


Strip 7
Panel 1
Many bats flying overhead.
The lads look hot and puffed. JAG walks through the door.

JAG: [looking at the bats flying near the ceiling] Jay? I was wondering... Good grief! Where did they come from?

Panel 2
Jay: We donít know.
Warren: Can you help us hunt them out?
JAG: [smiling at the bats]

Panel 3
JAG: [looking at Warren] Hunt? Why donít you wait until night, open a window and leave the lights on?

Panel 4
Warren: [walking off, annoyed] Thatís it! Iím getting a tennis racket.
JAG: [annoyed] You do and Iíll call the SPCB!


Strip 8
Panel 1
Biff lying in bed with the light on, looking very tired.

Biff: [thinking] Aagh! I canít sleep! I have to turn this light off!

Panel 2
[Pure black panel except for the word click!]

Panel 3
[Pure black panel]
SFX [tiny letters near the top of the panel] squeak! flutter flutter squeak! [many many of these]

Panel 4
Biff lying wide awake in bed.
SFX: Click!


Strip 9
Panel 1
[The Lads sitting around the table looking very tired. Isaac has his head on the table, Warren has his hands over his face.]

Biff: I donít think I slept at all. The light...
Jay: Trying to sleep is worse than trying to stay awake.
Isaac: [mumbles]
Warren: shut up I haveníthadmycoffeeyet

Panel 2
[The Lads sitting around the table looking very tired. Isaac has his head on the table, Warren has his hands over his face.]

Biff: I canít handle another night like that.
Jay: Yeah. Thank heavens the bats left.

Panel 3
[The Lads sitting around the table looking very tired. Everyone is staring vaguely at the center of the table]

Panel 4
[Everyone standing up]

Warren: Iíll check behind everything in the lounge room.
Jay: Biff and I will check the kitchen
Isaac: Right, and Iíll do the bedrooms.



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All content of this site is Copyright © 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001 Kevin Pease.
The above story is Copyright © 2001 Den Whitton, with characters belonging to Kevin Pease.
All images are for viewing only and may not be used without permission.